so down,
saying like no moral.
very sadistic to everyone especially with my words.
lazying here and there.
and at the same time being very sensitive.
why why why.
i just feel like hiding at one corner of the room where no one can find me.
so that i get time to reflect why i should and behaving something like this.
maybe i just need time to adjust myself.
i feel so draagg..
People around me keeps on blaming me.
Maybe i went quite high for everything previously.
settle down hani.
maybe u just need to aid yourself with more working hours and less outing.
yeah maybe that would aid me by behaving so not me.
i use to smile to others and not sarcastic them.
maybe i went too high and didn't notice about it.
now, i end up puffing again.
give me a moment to adjust myself please.
dear allah, please forgive me.
dear dad and mom, i just don't understand why you still treat me like a little girl again.
no this and that.
i just want need the trust in you that i can take care of myself.
it's not that by going home late everyday, but i think some excitement usually happen after 12am. Im understand what is wrong and right.
i just need that time to chill out instead of staying at home after work.
at the same time i also want to enjoy.
just imagine morning go to school, follow by working. then reach home. Daily same routine.
it's like keeping those lil prob here and there in a tiny whole to a huge whole.
what i ask for is ur trust that i can take care of myself.
it's hard to be a big sis who always trying her best to do what she can.
it's really hard to handle 6 siblings.
really hard. most of the time i tend to close one eye, but still u guys would always think that im not doing any great. And most of the time u keep on blaming me for not doing this and that. im just kinda bored and at times tired. but still i manage to listen and just keep quite to myself. I don't know how long will this continue.
i feel very weak and like crying if i continue typing.
maybe that's why im behaving this.
puff* puff*
*blog on hiatus*
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